And now, the end is near,
And so I face the final tap in.
My friend, I’ll say it clear,
I’ll miss this putt, of that I’m certain.

I’ve played a round that’s full
Of crappy shots, I’ve had a bad day,
But hey, that’s how golf is,
I play it my way.

Three putts, I’ve had a few,
But then again, that’s just the tension.
I swing too hard, then chicken out,
Don’t follow through, with full extension.

I loathe this goddam course,
I drive OB, onto the highway,
But hey, that’s how golf is,
I play it my way.

Yes, all the time, I knew I’d lose
I take less club than I oughta choose.
And when I'm bad, I lose my cool,
I get so mad, I'm such a fool.
I face it all and hit that ball
And play it my way.

I’ve hooked off every tee,
I’ve shanked my irons, my putts are yipping.
And now, how can it be...
I find the shakes have reached my chipping.

To think I whiffed a drive,
Or near enough, but in a skied way,
Oh no, it’s sad to see,
I play it my way.

For what is this golf, why do we try?
If not for fun, please tell me why.
We must be mad, that’s how I feel,
I’m giving up the whole damn spiel.
The scorecard shows, one hundred blows -
I play it my way!