Master of Ceremony - Interview with Peter Alliss

From a playing perspective, Peter Alliss has no reason to be especially fond of Augusta National Golf Club. Thankfully, the memories are now fading in the mind of the 78 year old who arrived at the edge of the 11th green there in the second round of the 1964 Masters – at the time cruising fairly comfortably around par – only to suffer the mother of all meltdowns when he reached for his putter. From 30 feet or so, he rolled his birdie effort to within a putter-length of the hole – the last meaningful putt he would ever hit free from the shackles of inner demons that would ultimately curtail his playing career. When he came to tidy up the downhill four-footer he had left himself for par, Alliss scuttled the ball 20 feet past the hole. Horrified at his inability to control his actions, it took several more attempts to hole out.

“What the hell are you doing?” asked a startled Gene Littler. “I don't know,” replied Alliss. “How many did you take?” “I don't know. I really don't know.”

By this time the numbers were academic.

While he played for a few more years, even winning a couple more tournaments, the eight-time Ryder Cup player was never the same again, but his celebrity as a player and a natural confidence and aura as a speaker opened other doors, and from understudy to the great Henry Longhurst Alliss quickly established himself as the ‘Voice of Golf'.

“I was very lucky, with the timing of it all,” he says. “These were the boom times of golf on television. Long putters weren't around, and, to tell the truth, I'd had enough, had the best of it. I won 21 times between 1954 and 1969 – and not many have bettered that – and I played in eight Ryder Cups. The Pro-Celebrity series on the BBC helped to establish me in broadcasting and I've been lucky to enjoy a wonderful second career. I might ruffle a few feathers with some of the forthright things I say, some will regard me as bitter, but they are wrong. I have no envy, no jealousy, I simply love the game of golf and I want to see the best for it.”

First on the agenda, however, was the issue of Tiger Woods – who else. Over soup and sandwiches at Hindhead Golf Club, a week to the day before the Tiger's speech at the TPC at Sawgrass, Alliss, as ever, told it exactly as he sees it.

Gi: The somewhat inevitable opening shot – what do you make of the whole Tiger Woods saga?
PA: An extraordinary business, and it makes me laugh, all these people who pontificate in a rather pompous way – many of whom have never thrown a stone in a greenhouse, of course. I find it intriguing, at this precise moment in time, with all the headlines surrounding John Terry and Ashley Cole, it seems to be the modern generation can't keep their trousers on. I'm not saying the older generations were any better, mind you. Perhaps just a little more discreet. I have no desire to learn how all this digital stuff works nowadays, but anyone in the public eye who has the stupidity to take photographs of himself, or send text messages – which I'm told by my police friends are out there for ever – are brainless. Sooner or later, these days, you will be found out.

Gi: In the circles you move in, ever a hint of any of this?
PA: No, nothing. I've watched Tiger since he was 14. And if you put a gun to my head a year ago and asked me if I knew anything about his behaviour away from the course, the drinking, the womenising, I honestly wouldn't have a clue what you were talking about. But over the last couple of years Tiger has become very offhand. Not a very nice person. Not very nice on the golf course – the throwing of clubs, the spitting. Not very smiley-faced. Now we perhaps know why. And, of course, he has a caddie who is one of the best in the business, who protects his master like anybody in history – and why not, he's made him a fortune.

Gi: Presumably his inner circle of managers, advisers, have all played a part in helping to protect the public persona?
PA: They have all played a part in building Tiger up to be someone he patently is not. He had it all, didn't he? The perfect wife, the perfect children, riches beyond anyone's wildest dreams, and yet it's just not enough, is it. There's an old saying, a standing prick has no conscience. That's a crude way of stating life, but it's true. Men are stupid. It only lasts a minute, doesn't it. You've only got to look at the animal kingdom. Bang, bang, bang – and they're away. You tend to forget about the lovely potato soup your wife makes, and the glorious omelettes – that all fades into insignificance when a young floozie is standing in front of you in high heels and a G string. You'd have to think that there were people in the organisation who knew what was going on, but Tiger was the goose laying all the golden eggs. He's the one paying the wages. It's very difficult to pull him aside, if you're his caddie or manager, and say anything. You whisper it in corners, but you don't do anything about it. You'll be out of a job.

Gi: Almost as shocking as the revelations themselves is the way this whole sorry affair has been handled?
PA: There are maybe two or three people in the world who know the truth and I doubt we will ever be treated to the full version of events. I heard a rumour he had left the house a few weeks earlier and gone back to get some things, accidentally woken his wife who promptly whacked him. We just don't know. But he's got to somehow come out – if he's going to play – and he's going to have to put up with the fact that he's going to be the butt of jokes and a lot of people will let him know what they really think of him. He's going to have to stand and take it when people shout-out ‘Get in the hole Tiger!' His wife – if they stay together – will have to put up with the whispers of all the other wives. And if they are all trying to rally round and be kind, that can sometimes be more annoying than not speaking. It's a monstrous problem.

Gi: The silence from Tiger has been deafening.
PA: It'll be intriguing to see how he and his advisers handle that first public appearance. Does he come out and say “I'm a sex addict, I'm having therapy, I know that I'm ill, it's not my fault and I need help?” That's the excuse that gets me – it's not his fault you know. It's not his fault that he keeps getting an erection and wants to put it somewhere. It's not his fault at all. He happens to be ill. I seem to remember Michael Douglas going through something similar a few years back. You stand up, confess, cry on TV and ask for help from the Almighty. I remember the film A Clockwork Orange, which was all about the same sort of thing. I remember Roddy McDowell at the end, after going through all these clinics, trying to cure him from his addictions, and there's a fellow at the end who tells him he's cured, and McDowell turns the camera and it's almost as if he winks as if to say ‘Am I!'.

Gi: Do you think he can ever truly get over this?
PA: With enormous difficulty. I really don't know. I would love to be there to see him when he comes in for that first interview. It's hard to imagine him coming out with a smile on his face. What's he going to say? “Hi boys – I did it. Yep, you caught me – hands up I did it. But there were some crackers, weren't there.” Or is it going to be sack cloth and ashes, all tearful? To me that seems overly false. I don't envy Tiger and his life at all. Again, rumours fly around. He was supposed to be – along with Phil Mickelson – a huge gambler. What's all that about? It's all over the papers now that John Terry, who earns a small fortune every week, has a mortgage on his house higher than the original price he paid for it. Why? Unless you're pissing it away somewhere, or paying off people left right and centre. John Daly – we are all aware of the money he is supposed to have wasted. Easy come, easy go. On the surface these guys lead a wonderful life, but you just don't know what's really going on. Who knows, Elin may have been difficult to live with. There are people in the US who don't like black men marrying white women. And there's something of a black backlash over there over the fact all of the women he has been linked with are white and – mostly – blonde. It's a hugely complex problem he has created for himself. Only he knows the truth. I don't think he's had a comfortable life.

Gi: Does the fallout from this extend to affecting his standing in the game of golf?
PA: I don't think that has anything to do with it. One of the best articles I've read about Tiger and this whole situation was written by the rugby correspondent of the Telegraph, I think it was Brian Moore, and in it he pointed out that Tiger Woods never once proclaimed himself a paragon of virtue, he never said “I am the way, I am the light.” Nor has he ever stated that his career goal is to win 18 majors, for that matter. He never did that, it was the press who made him out to be holier than though. So, in that regard, I think that was a little unfortunate for him.

Gi: Tiger or no Tiger we're all looking forward to Augusta. Does the Masters still hold the same aura today as it did in Europe's glory years back in 1980s?
PA: It has changed, definitely. But all things do. Years ago they used to invite the Ryder Cup team every year and I had my first invitation in 1959. I didn't go. In fact I only ever played there twice in the mid-1960s, and I was totally overwhelmed. I didn't enjoy it at all. Not a happy experience – all those inner demons that came out on the 11th green. But I love the story and the history of the Masters and I would defend the club and the tournament to the death. I have a huge amount of respect for the place and what they have achieved since 1934 when the greatest amateur the game has ever known, Bobby Jones, joined forces with Clifford Roberts to create what became the Masters. Because we're talking about the Bobby Jones, the most famous golfers of the day came to play. Gene Sarazen then goes and holes his second shot from the top of the hill on the 15th in 1935 – the ‘shot heard around the world', as they called it – and there is perhaps the greatest shot in the history of the game to give the tournament top billing. They do things there own way at Augusta, always have and always will. It's a small club – a bit like a Swinley Forest, a Moortown or Berkshire – which has created one of the great sporting events in the world. That's some achievement. They have their own rules, some of them bizarre and a lot of them quite strict. They have attitude, too. The employees at the club are snobbier than any Muirfield member and there's still this feeling that if you don't behave you won't be allowed back again. I believe the BBC is in the process of negotiating a new contract – ‘short contracts, long relationships' is the way the club like to operate – and I hope we keep it for a long time yet. Other TV companies would love to get their hands on it. It's a good fit with the BBC because there's no advertising. But if for any reason a new committee came in and fell out with established partners, who knows, the club could decide to put it all out on pay-per-view TV. They'd make far more money.

Gi: There's a great sense of tradition at the tournament but the club isn't afraid of change?
PA: No, not they're not at all. Over the years they have altered the the grass on the green, taken bunkers out and – as has been well documented – lengthened several holes in an attempt to combat the ever-present issue of technology. Of course they never show any helicopter shots because the surrounding area of Washington Road – a hub of cheap eating joints – doesn't fit the image. So they don't show it. It all adds to the mystique of the place, and that's what sells it. And until you actually go there you just have no idea. I'm sure a lot of people think you sit on the lawn in front of the clubhouse and drink from Waterford crystal, which of course you don't. There are always the same number of tables arranged in front of the clubhouse, and you think they could squeeze quite a few more in there, but they never do. Getting inside that bit of string outside the clubhouse by the big tree is the most amazing privilege, you feel. And there, outside the ropes, looking in, you might see Doug Sanders, one of the great characters in golf, still wearing the clothes he wore in 1974, yellows and green and pinks. And he's looking rather sad because he doesn't have the right ticket to get in, which is sad, I think.

Gi: For a lot of people the course changes – specifically the lengthening – has taken away a lot of the Masters magic?
PA: The lengthening of the course hasn't done anything other than make a number of holes a slog, from what I can see. There are some brutes. The one thing they have never tried is growing some rough, and I mean serious rough. Rather than lengthening the course and putting the flags in silly places, I'd like to see the fairways 25 yards wide and make serious rough, so if you go five yards into the rough you're hitting a 9-iron back out to the fairway. And then just see what the scores are like.

Gi: We seem to miss the great shouts and roars coming up the course from Amen corner and the 15th/16th greens?
PA: Yes, because the back nine is so much tougher now. I remember being there when Gary Player was six strokes back with nine to play, and he won. You can't do that anymore. When Seve dumped it in the water at the 15th, one of the great dramas in Masters memory. There have been some magic moments and interesting winners. There have been great discussions lately about the old boys going to play – former winners who have no hope. Why not let them go out and play nine holes, in a buggy if needs be, starting at the 10th? Arnie, Jack, Gary – the galleries who pour in from 8 am don't get to see any action for about three hours. This would give them something very special to look forward to.

Gi: What are your favourite holes?
PA: The 3rd, a short par-four. One of the best in golf. Only a drive and a wedge in or a iron off the tee and a 6- or 7-iron or so. Just goes to show you. The 5th is another strong par-four. Visually the 13th is one of the best holes in golf and one of the most exciting second shots you ever see. Nick Faldo's shot in there in 1996, with a 2-iron, was sublime. The finishing holes are fairly unexciting, and there are too many holes at Augusta where you can hit a not very good shot and yet the green gathers the ball and it rolls round to finish close. I don't see the merit in that.

Gi: What are your own favourite memories of Augusta, or the things you most look forward to?
PA: First of all going there when the weather is nice and it's not too hot, the flowers are out and it's green. Looking across the course at Augusta, the beauty of it really hits you. I was there when Maurice Bembridge went round in 64 in 1974. That was a fantastic achievement. Maurice didn't hit the ball very far, but here he was producing one of the great rounds in history. Nicklaus in '86, Seve's first win in 1980. Tiger's first Masters as a pro – out in 40 strokes. We're all righting him off. Then he comes home in 30 and goes on to win by 12 shots. Gary Player's win in 1978 was epic. I really didn't think it was a demise of Greg Norman, I think Faldo's final round in 1996 was one of the greatest rounds of golf, under the circumstances, he ever played. And the good thing about it was, whenever Faldo holes a putt – and he made some brilliant ones – he never once gave his caddie, Fanny Sunnesson, a wink or a smile as if to say, ‘We've got him.' He never looked triumphant. It was to his credit. He never once gave the impression that he was enjoying it, or rubbing Norman's nose in it. He knew he had a job to do and that he had to be totally professional on every shot, every putt, right up to the end. Greg didn't play that badly, he hit maybe three or four bad shots and he was unlucky.

Gi: Faldo's career has come full circle, he's up in the commentary box. Would he be someone you'd like to work alongside?
PA: No, not particularly, because I don't think he has learned the disciplines of television yet. He often talks over shots, as many of them do, or he gets asked a question at the wrong time and ends up giving a reply over an important passage of action. But Faldo does say some interesting things and of course he's been there and done it. But he's an interesting case. His wasn't a particularly long career at the highest level, not compared to Nicklaus, Tom Watson or even Tiger now. He's been at the top of the game for over 10 years already, and hopefully will return to add further chapter to it. Paul Azinger thought Faldo lost his game when the big-hitters came along, he was bombed out of it. But I've always said you don't have to bomb it. Luke Donald seems to do alright. If you keep plodding along, hitting fairways and greens, you can be a major champion. In fact, I think Donald's time could be here over the next two or three years. I know he's been out injured lately, but he is a smart golfer, he knows that if he keeps it on the fairway and hits the green and putts pretty well he can win Open Championships. Quite right. He can do.

Gi: Who are the players that excite you?
PA: Rory McIlroy is the obvious one at the moment. What is he, just 20? Still very young. Hits the ball very hard but I don't think I've ever seen him finish off balance. We're lucky at the moment, Ross Fisher, Oliver Wilson, Poulter, Casey, Donald – all have the potential to be immense players. But you know, the thing is, Tiger Woods has spoiled it for everybody. He's missed, what, three cuts in 10 years. That's the yardstick by which we are judging all of these other players, and they don't measure up. Justin Rose frustrates me. I played a game of golf with Justin at North Hants, just after he finished fourth at Birkdale all those years ago, and I thought to myself this boy is going to go places and be very special. Hasn't happened. I don't know why, but he seems to be another of those players always tinkering with his swing. Paul Casey is another who I had high hopes for and it may be he can win a major or two. But he seems prone to injury, and that's a worry. It seems to me that somebody set the pattern, years ago, after a round you go and hit 50 balls to wind down. You get into these routines, whether it's the gym, the range, and I don't think that is always necessary. I was brought up in a different era – that's obvious – but in my time you didn't need to look like Mr Universe from the waist up to be a successful golf pro. Now they're obsessive, they tear muscles and they're out for six months. You never saw Nicklaus doing that.

Gi: Adding Europe's No. 1 Lee Westwood to those you have mentioned, we have the makings of a strong Ryder Cup side.
PA: Very much so. I like Westwood, a true gentleman on the course and a very fine player. It's remarkable the way he has fought back after a couple of years in the doldrums. He's shown it can be done and if he can put behind him the stumble he suffered over the closing holes at Turnberry last year, where he really should have won, he can achieve great things. Steve Stricker is another to have recovered. As I've said many times, you have to learn to control those inner demons to become a winner. We're told the players of today are so wonderful, brilliant, and yet they're making a lot of money, but a lot of them are not winners. And you don't have to be when you're picking up 80 grand for finishing seventh. Maybe it wouldn't be a bad idea where we went back to golf tournaments where the first prize is just 100 grand? Identify and reward winners. Perhaps we would get back to some sort of realistic positioning of these players in the whole scheme of life.

Gi: In a recent column for Gi you expressed concern for the future of the Ryder Cup. Explain that.
PA: From a logistical point of view I worry about the timing of it all. It seems to be getting pushed back and back in the calendar, and this year it's the first week in October. And they are going to try to get all these foursomes and fourballs in, which take five hours to play. We're going to a fairly exposed golf course in Wales. With the best will in the world, it will be a miracle if they don't get delayed by weather, early frosts or mists. I've not spoken to Tim Finchem about it and I'm sure he would deny it, but I don't think it would bother the PGA of America if the Ryder Cup disappeared from the fixture list. I don't think they'd shed a tear if it went the way of the Wightman Cup in tennis. Look at the way they talk about the Presidents Cup. And of course the Europeans could qualify for the Rest of the World side if there were no Ryder Cup. It wasn't helped when my dear friend Peter Thomson, who captained the side in Melbourne, spoke on receiving the trophy and said it was the greatest moment of his life. I nearly screamed at the television screen. Here is a five-times Open champion captaining a Rest of the World side in a bit of a jolly-up. It's a genuine concern to me. And we need to win the Ryder Cup this year, badly.

Gi: Do you think Monty will make a good captain?
PA: I don't think he can be be worse than the last one. I mean it was all a bit of a joke, wasn't it. There he [Faldo] was, driving round the course in a buggy with his daughters and DJ Spoony onboard! His speeches were appalling; he tries to be funny and he's just not funny. I'm not castigating him – it's there for all to see. And I think in his heart of hearts he doesn't think he did anything wrong. He's an amazing, complicated personality. The smart captains get help with their speeches.

Gi: You went to see Seve after the Open last year and you saw him at the Sports Personality of the Year awards. How was he?
PA: He's hanging on. He's such a gutsy man. We did the link-up for Sports Review of the Year. José Maria Olazábal presented him with the trophy. He looked very weary. Olazábal was in tears. The audience was in tears. It was all very emotional. He wasn't everyone's cup of tea, but Seve had the magic, the vivacity, he was the last one to have it. The same way the US tour misses the Tiger Woods of five years ago, European golf misses the Seve of the 1980s. We don't have anybody to replace him. No one smiles any more. No one beams anymore or plays with the passion and the charisma that he did. Seve holing that putt at St Andrews in 1984 was one of the most magical moments in all of sport. And golf misses that.

Gi: In recent years Arnold Palmer and Jack Nicklaus used the Open at St Andrews to bid their farewells – I hope you're not thinking along the same lines?
PA: I don't think that. I do think I will know when this brain is nearing the end of its useful working life. And I want to go before the BBC don't call me. I have a new contract with the BBC – and it's only year-to-year, which is a little worrying! If the BBC happened to lose the Masters or the Open, then golf could disappear from terrestrial TV. Golf is a small audience, but highly enjoyed by enthusiastic supporters. People who don't play quite enjoy watching, for the scenery and the tranquility of it all. And if I add to their enjoyment, I'm thankful for that.