Ryder Cup 2008 - Nick Faldo foiled in a final shot for glory

If there is one conclusion to be drawn from the good ol’ ass whippin’ that was the 37th Ryder Cup, it is that while a non-playing captain cannot win the matches for his side, it is certainly true that he can go a long way towards losing them. In this tale of two captains, it really was the best and worst of times. In Paul Azinger America had a leader with a plan and poise; in Nick Faldo, Europe had, in the patois of his beloved Only Fools and Horses, a right plonker.

Sad to say then, Faldo’s final contribution to the biennial battle in which he was so successful as a player was one of complete, utter and abject failure. By almost every measure, the six-time major champion let down both himself and his ultimately well-beaten side.

My goodness, where to begin? The list of cock-ups contained in what will surely be remembered as ‘Faldo’s Friggin’ Fiascos’ is lengthy indeed, all the way from the disingenuousness surrounding the wild-card pick of Ian Poulter through the nonsensical appointment of only one vice-captain to the final gaffe at the closing ceremony – “See you at Celtic Manor in 2010. Bring your waterproofs.” Let’s start with the many and various faux pas committed by a man once hailed by his second wife, Gill, as “a 24-handicapper socially”.

At the opening ceremony, Faldo produced an excruciatingly awful speech that was enough to make this correspondent physically uncomfortable (“Make it stop, make it stop,” I yelled at the television screen. Sadly, as ever, that strategy didn’t work.) During his seemingly endless and surely unrehearsed oration, Europe’s skipper went from non-playing to unplayable.

In asking Graeme McDowell whether he was from “Ireland or Northern Ireland”, Faldo naively or stupidly – you make the call – veered into what is an untouchable political and social nightmare for every Ulsterman. It was little wonder that McDowell appeared more than a little discomfited by Faldo’s apparent gaucheness.

Then there was Faldo’s stereotypical contention that Padraig Harrington has “hit more balls than potatoes have been planted in Ireland.” Potatoes. Ireland. Get it? Pathetically, everyone did except Faldo.

Introducing Søren Hansen as “Søren Stenson” can, if one is charitable, be put down to a slip of the tongue. But still, its negative impact on the unassuming Dane can only be imagined. And lastly, while Faldo’s obvious pride in his children is commendable, going on and on and on and on about his four offspring when he really should have been focused on his players appeared self-indulgent at best, crass at worst. Certainly, if the bemused look on his son Matthew’s face was anything to go by, he was one of the many thousands watching live and on the box to realise just how far down the road to nowhere his father had gone. The poor lad was obviously mortified.

Still, all of the above could and would have been largely reduced to Ryder Cup footnotes if Europe had successfully defended the trophy under Faldo’s stewardship. But they did not, of course. Not even close. And, yet again, the man supposedly at the helm has to assume a large share of the blame for what was a Titanic-like shipwreck. Strategically Faldo was, strangely for a golfer rightly renowned for his tactical acumen, all but hopeless.

Right from day one, in fact, much head shaking and bemusement was evident even before the heavily favoured Europeans began slip sliding away. While there should always be room for experimentation within the esoteric world of foursomes and fourball pairings, some of Faldo’s selections beggared belief – this from a man who made a point of emphasizing he had experience of 11 Ryder Cups.

In foursomes, for example, Miguel Angel Jiménez and Oliver Wilson – both playing well and armed with games ‘made’ for that format – did not play in the first series. In fourballs, the biggest hitters in the side – Henrik Stenson, Robert Karlsson and Paul Casey – all sat out the first series on a course almost bereft of significant rough.

Other decisions stuck out, too. Harrington, the only current major champion on either side, was benched on Saturday afternoon. Sergio Garcia, unbeaten in nine previous Ryder Cup foursomes, and Lee Westwood, unbeaten in his 12 most recent matches against the Americans, were omitted from the second series of foursomes. And, most controversially, the lower half of the final-day singles order was packed, to the point where surely four of Faldo’s best players were still on the course when the destination of the trophy was decided.

Typically, Faldo never really responded to questions on any of the above, lapsing into his pre-broadcasting mode of mumbles, incomplete sentences and general gibberish. It was, for most of the British press assembled in Kentucky, like stepping back in time, to the days, months and years of “Nasty Nick”.

In contrast to all of the above, Azinger, while far from perfect, got the big things right. Unlike Faldo – who had only José Maria Olazábal, a couple of caddies and a 23-year old European tour player Martin Kaymer acting as his on-course eyes and ears – the former USPGA champion surrounded himself with wise heads in the shape of past captains Ray Floyd and Dave Stockton, as well as his close friend, long-time PGA Tour pro Olin Browne.

From those three trusted lieutenants, Azinger got quality information he could use when it came to deciding who played and who didn’t. Meanwhile, on the other side, Faldo was basically winging it.

Azinger, by all accounts, also created the sort of team room atmosphere that has long been attributed to the Europeans. In that he was helped by the zany antics of Boo Weekley, whose imaginary horse-riding impression off the first tee on the final day and later during the understandably raucous post-match celebrations was the comedic highlight of the week.

Just about the only sour note hit by Azinger came at something called a “pep rally” held in downtown Louisville on the eve of the match. Perhaps overly revved up, the American captain encouraged the vocal and well-oiled crowd to “feel free to cheer when they miss a putt”.

While that sort of nonsense already happens during Ryder Cups on both sides of the Atlantic, it is hardly an aspect of the matches either captain should be advocating as part of his side’s approach to what is supposed to be a sporting – in every way – contest. Although Azinger did attempt to backtrack a day later, it has to be said that his initial comments did him no credit.

Tactically, however, ‘Captain America’ got most things spot on, especially in the all-important final-day singles. Breaking his 12-man side down into three groups of four – first ‘Aggressive’, second ‘Good Ol’ Boys’, third ‘Steady’ – he produced the ideal order to first protect then stretch his two-point lead. One has to think that such a plan was devised with input from the wise old heads of Floyd and Stockton. Yet again, one is left to wonder what, if anything, the callow Kaymer came up with in that area.

His time, such as it was, has gone.