Where's the juice?

The 103rd U.S. Open at Olympia Fields Country Club has arrived with all the buzz of a Buick Classic. The prevailing theme is that there is no prevailing theme.

"Very flat," said Charles Howell of the low-key national championship hype. "Compared to last year, this doesn't feel like a U.S. Open."

The story of Chicago's sporting life. The Second City has always played second fiddle to New York, where the blue-collar masses and a wildly popular municipal golf course made Bethpage Black the breakout event of the new millennium.

Even the Chicagoland fans known for storming baseball fields to attack umpires have been rather subdued outside the ropes.

Bethpage Black gave us Tiger Woods vs. Sergio Garcia and Phil Mickelson and a legitimate Grand Slam buzz. Olympia Fields gave us one-and-done major winners Johnny Farrell (1928 U.S. Open) and Jerry Barber (1961 PGA) in playoffs over Bobby Jones and Don January.

The New York periphery gave us John Gotti's funeral, Martha Stewart's insider secrets and 9/11 remembrances. The biggest news out of Chicago this week is Monkey pox.

Olympia Fields is a beautiful place. It looks like a classic college campus, complete with a clocktower clubhouse and convenient public transit. But as a U.S. Open venue, it doesn't quicken the pulse like Pebble Beach, Shinnecock Hills, Pinehurst No. 2 or Bethpage. It's not the kind of place that hackers would camp out in their cars overnight to get a tee time or fork over $400 bucks for a round.

"It's different," said Tiger Woods in muted defense. "You can't say anything stacks up to Pebble Beach."

The players, for the most part, love what they've seen of Olympia Fields. They've used words and phrases such as fair, simple, straight-forward and not tricked up -- things you rarely hear whenever the USGA is involved.

The media, however, has been a bit more abusive than the Long Island fans were to Garcia last year. Some of the criticism has crossed into the ridiculous realm. Denver Post columnist Woody Paige called it a "goat track" and "the most undistinguished course in Open history."

When told of that assessment, Brad Faxon furrowed his brow and said "What course is he looking at?"

"I was misquoted and taken out of context," said Paige of his printed words.

But there is something to be said for the correlation between the lack of major juice and the lack of general excitement over the course.

Howell, who likes the layout, calls it a "really good tour event golf course." Yes, and "Ishtar" was a really, really expensive movie.

Perhaps Ireland's Padraig Harrington established this year's story line the best -- unimaginative. The great European hope said typically unimaginative setup principles of the USGA require unimaginative play.

"Flair ... that's the last thing you want in a U.S. Open," Harrington said. "You want very much to be the most boring golfer around this week."

Tiger Woods nodded approvingly when told of Harrington's assessment, as did Augusta's Howell.

"This is a good week to be very boring -- fairway, green, par," Howell said.

That's just the kind of champion this place is likely to produce. With a broader range of contenders drawn into the glorified tour venue, another Jack Fleck is capable of emerging to defeat a Ben Hogan.

Glamorous personalities such as Kenny Perry or Jeff Maggert. Or less flashy should-be major winners such as Jim Furyk or Harrington. Or maybe Lee Janzen extending his usual five-year interval.

Are you getting excited yet?

Maybe we're just not being fair. All Bethpage had to follow was a Retief Goosen-Mark Brooks khaki-coated playoff, and it had Woods pursuing a Grand Slam.

Olympia Fields has to follow that -- with a Canadian tracking the Grand Slam, to boot, eh.

Let's hope the competition stirs something up.